A Minor Rant...

Dear NOR*CAL Guys:

Congratulations on the purchase and subsequent modification of your very, very large pickup truck. I am sure you are very happy with the assortment of large decals you have placed on it, most of which have something to do with MotoCross, WaterSkiing, Snowboarding, Tattooing, Sunglasses, etc., and almost all of them are in Old English typeface. The lift kits and free flow exhaust systems compliment the overall aesthetic nicely and give you the awesome combination of horsepower and high center of gravity that leads to so many spectacular rollover accidents. Thank you so much for hurtling by our home with the accelerator buried in the floorboard, doing 50 in a residential neighborhood, so radically embracing a complete and utter disregard for the safety of those around you (that's totally EXTREME!).

Congratulations also on your matching nautical star tattoos above (or sometimes on) your elbows. This is truly becoming the 'tramp stamp' for 18-35 year old males in Northern California. Way to assert your individuality, en masse. And, for those of you who have not yet gotten any tattoos, congratulations on your recent purchase of a Hart and Huntington shirt, wristband, and cap (worn snugly down on the eyebrows, right next to the piercing). Similarly, for those of you who have never sat on a motorcycle in your lives, congrats on the Orange County Choppers, West Coast Choppers, or Harley-Davidson swag that you wear so proudly.

Enjoy this time in your lives, but try to remember, someday you'll look back on this and realize that you didn't need to try so hard, pose so much, and act so tough; really all you accomplished was pissing off your neighbors and looking like a total douchebag.

Thanks for the chuckles...